How I Chose One Idea for My TEDx Talk (Out of a Hundred)

Confession: I am not short on ideas.

If anything, my brain is a group chat with no moderator. I could give a talk on leadership, introversion, Black women at work, career pivots, parenting, grief, rest, authenticity…and those are only my 'before I go to sleep' thoughts.

So when it came time to decide what I wanted to say on a TEDx stage, I did what many of us do: I tried to carry everything at once.

It did not go well.

I had pages of notes. Half-formed titles. Random phrases. I kept asking myself:

• What do people need right now?

• What would be “impressive” enough?

• What topic sounds TEDx-y?

But underneath all of that was a quieter question that I had been avoiding:

What is the message I can’t not share?

When I finally sat still long enough to listen, the answer wasn’t polished. It sounded like this:

“I am tired of watching brilliant people apologize for existing. I’m tired of doing it myself. I want people to know what happens when you stop shrinking.”

That was it. That was the heartbeat.

I worked with a brilliant TEDx speaker that now helps others land stages, and he walked me through a series of questions to help me clarify my intent. With his help. we finally landed on the topic.

The title? Well, that was a lot harder and actually, I did not land on it until about 2 months AFTER landing the stage! But together, we got really clear on what I wanted to put out into the world, to the extent of getting it down to one call out:

You don’t have to negotiate your worth to deserve to be here.

That is the thread that tied everything else together—mindset, values, radical self-love, language. Once I found that thread, I knew I had my talk.

Is it the only message I could give? No.Is it the most “marketable” one? Maybe, maybe not. Is it the one that feels like my assignment right now? Absolutely.

And that’s how I chose.

This week’s small moment:

I was journaling and wrote, “I could talk about so many things.” Then I crossed out “so many things” and wrote, “what I’m uniquely called to say.” That shift pulled me out of performance and back into purpose.

Reflection:

I see a pattern: every time I’ve tried to be universal, I’ve felt lost. Every time I’ve told the specific truth of my story, people have said, “I thought I was the only one.” The power is in the specificity.

Now ask yourself:

If I had 10 minutes on a red dot, what’s the one idea I can’t not share?

Don’t worry about sounding smart, strategic, or impressive. Let it sound raw and real. Write it as if you’re talking to someone you love who needs to hear it. If you feel like sharing, I’d love to read your “one idea.”

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🗝️🗝️ Interesting in taking the TED or TEDx stage? Ask me how I landed this opportunity and I will tell you EXACTLY how! Hint: I hired some help...